It’s Monday, which means it’s time to get a few laughs in as you ease into the week and give yourself grace if you make small mistakes.
Plenty of people made the same mistake on Friday when they went online to celebrate (11) Yale’s victory over (4) Auburn.
That’s right, if you tagged the @YaleMBB account, that is the university’s Molecular Biophysics and Biochemistry program, not the Men’s BasketBall team. Common mistake. Though, if any of the Biophysics students can shoot, Yale could have used them in their 85-57 loss to (5) San Diego State yesterday. All good things end eventually.
1. Gaining Steam
(1) Purdue beat (8) Utah State on Sunday, 106-67, behind another giant game from center Zach Edey. Edey logged 23 points, 14 rebounds and 3 blocks in just 27 minutes, including 21 points and 11 rebounds in the first half alone. Up next is a Sweet Sixteen date with (5) Gonzaga.
Say something like: “You can teach shooting and you can teach passing, but you can’t teach being 7’4”.”
2. Do You Need Legal Help?
Call the law offices of Proctor and McCain. (4) Duke’s guard tandem of Tyrese Proctor (18 points, five assists) and Jared McCain (30 points, five rebounds) represented the Blue Devils well in their 93-55 victory over (12) James Madison. McCain, who boasts 2.5 million TikTok followers and may be real life Troy Bolton, made eight three-pointers in the win.
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Say something like: “I never had any doubts that Duke would win this game.” 1
3. Cardinal’s In
The (2) Stanford women survived a close game to advance to the Sweet Sixteen with a dramatic 87-81 overtime victory over (7) Iowa State. The instant classic featured memorable performances on both sides. Stanford junior Kiki Iriafen had 41 points, 16 rebounds and three blocks in the victory while Iowa State senior guard Emily Ryan poured in 36 points to go with nine rebounds and four assists in the loss.
Say something like: “The NCAA Tournament is crazy, because you can have 41 points in a nationally televised game on Sunday night and then have to run across campus to turn in your CS 131: Computer Vision Foundations and Applications homework the next morning.”
4. Sweet Caroline(a)
Duke showed out for North Carolina on Sunday while (6) Clemson took care of (3) Baylor, 72-64, to represent South Carolina in the Sweet 16. For all of the drama and the upsets in the first four days of the tournament, the round of 16 turned out fairly chalk. The two exceptions are Clemson and (11) NC State, who along with Duke and (1) North Carolina make up 25% of the remaining field.
Say something like: “The 33°N line of latitude really disappointed this year, but when you group the Carolinas with Tennessee, the 34°N and 35°N lines of latitude have five teams still in!”2
5. Survivor
(1) Houston had plenty of problems getting past (9) Texas A&M Sunday evening. The Aggies outscored Houston 17-5 in the last two minutes of the second half, snatching overtime from the jaws of defeat. The furious rally was for not, though, as Houston took care of business in the extra frame to advance by a score of 100-95.
Houston’s guard trio of Emanuel Sharp (30 points) L.J. Cryer (20 points) and Jamal Shead (21 points) were the deciding factors for the Cougars.
Say something like: “Sharp, Cryer and Shead might be the Houston’s most talented trio since Destiny’s Child.”
Thanks for following along for the opening weekend of action. We’ll be back watching all the games next weekend so that you don’t have to!
DO NOT check Saturday’s newsletter to dispute this claim
The 78°W longitudinal line is absolutely crushing it with the Research Triangle
Who knew Iowa had two women's teams in the tournament. I thought Caitlin Clark had been eliminated! Shows how much I need Break Room Small Talk!